Had I become CM again, you could see crowds on the streets against center – Shahbaz Shairf
About family disputes
After serving the country a lot I get to work as the heir of Nawaz Bhai but thanks to Maryam who gave me so many reasons to stay at home and take rest.
Maryam is my niece and that’s why she’s always been so nice to me.
Although she is in habit of denying anything that I suggest to save PML-N’s interest still she’s been so nice to me. My relation with Maryam Nawaz is twofold, no it is threefold; on one side she is my daughter and niece while on the other side I’m her uncle as well.
Imran Khan has taken back the bulletproof car from Maryam Nawaz but thanks God mine is still outside the house. When Maryam Nawaz used to deny whatever I say that is what we call the beauty of democracy.
About the Charter of Economy
NRO was the big achievement of PML-N and off course me and now the charter of the economy will be a landmark achievement to hide the money laundering, I mean the money that was spent on development projects especially in Punjab.
Nawaz bhai and I worked so hard for this country and we established businesses abroad. Pakistan steel mill would have worked so nice if it was located somewhere in Gulf or it was named “Ittefaq”.
About arrest of Rana Sanaullah
Rana Sanaullah has been put behind the bars and the allegations against him are in no way justifiable. They say that 15 kilograms heroine has been found in his vehicle but according to my information, all the heroines have a weight above 15 kilograms. How can they say that the heroine was 15 kilograms? It is unbelievable.
Even the wife of Rana Sanaullah confirmed that all the heroines are at their homes, I just can’t understand why Anti-Narcotics Force don’t arrest these heroines instead of Rana Sanaullah.
Rana Sanaullah during his years’ long service for PML-N has done crackdown not only against the drug handlers but also against different drug spots. I and my forefinger are just wondering how did he miss to take action against himself over the years in service to us, I mean in the service of Pakistan.
On similarities between PPP and PML-N
Both PPP and PML-N are on the same page just like the government and Army are on the same page nowadays. I can recall so many qualities of our political party that resembles that of PPP. Our corruption is the same.
From corruption, I mean the money spent on developmental projects. We both made Pakistan so progressive I don’t know why people don’t use to celebrate our birthdays as national holidays.
We had timely differences when I talked about dragging Zardari on the roads but now both of us want charter of the economy. Charter of the economy will help us I mean it will help Pakistan.
Nawaz Bhai and Zardari
Here Nawaz bhai is in the jail and Zardari kept himself behind the bars in a show of solidarity between the two. Both have many things similar such as air-conditioner facilities, nutritious diet, television. Both can enjoy the food of their choice.
The government is also taking much care of Nawaz Bhai’s health, I don’t know what am I doing outside? I should rather join them to take delight.
About the electricity crisis
I know the exact reason why people don’t come on the roads to stage protests in that much hot weather. That’s all because we are not in power anymore. Had I become the chief minister again, one could see crowds of people on the roads.
Nawaz Sharif is the inventor of CPEC and out of a total of $46 billion dollars allocated for CPEC, about $34 billion will be spent on electricity projects alone.
So what if Nandipur Power Project didn’t work efficiently? People complained that it is 42 percent less efficient than the required energy. I swear If I get another chance to run the province my forefinger will become 142 percent more efficient than Nandipur Power Plant.
Regarding across the board accountability
I usually do not praise myself despite working so much for this country. I built the Metro bus project, Orange line train and distributed so many stickers of mine among the talented youth along with laptops.
But now I want across the board accountability for $60 billion transferred to Swiss accounts, land grabbing, NICL excluding the money we spent on us, I mean for the progress of Pakistan.
I also said in one of my interviews that let this be the moment of truth and time has come for across the board accountability but this accountability process doesn’t include me and my forefinger.
Disclaimer: The above piece of writing is a satire and doesn’t claim to be the truth.
(Laughter is, and will always be the best form of therapy. So learn to laugh it won’t add years to your life but it will definitely add life to your years.)